Many couples fall in love and claim that their love is for life, that they cannot live without each other. However, after a while, life tests these assurances and some relationships fall apart. Sometimes the reason is a lack of love. There are women who don’t feel loved in a relationship. They say: “my husband doesn’t love me”, “he doesn’t want me like he used to”, “I don’t care about my husband”. So learn to identify the signs that your husband doesn’t love you anymore and you are living a love illusion.

What is love?

First, let’s consider what love really is. Then it will be easier to determine how a husband who is not in love behaves. Romantic love is a socio-historical phenomenon that dates back to the twelfth century. Previously, in ancient societies, relationships between peers were not based on passion, but on practices related to survival, meaning that marriages were arranged and based on a variety of interests.

Nowadays, love relationships are supposed to be based on intimacy, loyalty and honesty. Love is a choice that you make every day and needs to be constantly “refreshed”. If it is a choice, it should not be based on demands or expectations, although ideally there should be a balance on both sides. In this way, the complicity and effort invested in building love will be better shared.

In psychology, according to Sternberg’s theory, love is understood as a variability which consists of three basic elements:

• passions;
• proximity;
• Commitment.

Passion is a set of emotional reactions of a biological order. It emphasises feelings of happiness felt towards a loved one, recurrent thoughts about them and a burning desire to emotionally connect bodies with a partner. Intimacy means sharing the good and the bad because it implies trust in the loved one. Commitment to the relationship, on the other hand, implies developing the relationship, striving to overcome adversity and all difficulties.

How do I know if my husband’s love is mutual?

The fact is that when you fall in love, you focus only on the positive aspects of the other person. You look for signs in the other person that your emotional “investment” was not in vain. Love is only reciprocal when each person involved gives the other the same benefits as they do, and to the same extent. For example, if someone gives intimacy and commitment and receives only passion, there is no perfect couple.

Love is only real when it truly combines physical affection, acceptance of others as they are, and the desire to be with them despite all obstacles. Reciprocity is when you feel that you are not only giving, but also receiving the same.

How do I know if my husband loves me?

You have been together for a long time and you feel that the relationship has changed. You are probably beginning to have doubts and you are increasingly thinking that “my husband doesn’t love me”. However, before you decide that your husband does not love you, it is important to look at the different situations comprehensively. Why do you think he doesn’t love you? Has his behaviour or approach to the relationship changed? Has it changed suddenly or because of something that happened recently?

Sometimes changes in relationships are general in nature and involve a natural change in a person’s attitude towards life. What is bound to worry you is a sudden change overnight, or a complete lack of willingness to take on the role of spouse. The position of a loving husband is clear, he supports you, helps you, is always there for you, cares for you and wishes you well.

Evaluate all these issues to better understand whether your husband is really not involved in family life, or whether he is just going through some problem and therefore not paying proper attention to the relationship. It is also important to assess whether you are in a state of nervousness and emotional agitation, as you may interpret his attitude as a lack of love, but in fact you may have problems or be struggling with your own feelings.

There are many options, so it’s worth taking a closer look at the whole situation and even more so to look for signs that he doesn’t love you.

How do I know he doesn’t love me?

Love is hard to understand or even feel. You know that your husband truly loves you when he cares for you, when he shows interest in you, when he is available to you and has plans with you for the future. If you aren’t sure if he still loves you, then something has scared you. If you suspect that he is lying or that his love has suddenly ended, know that there are many outward signs that your partner is losing interest in you.

When your husband becomes a stranger and no longer loves you:

• he is always busy and he never has time for you;
• he suddenly became very independent;
• he’s always kind of off somewhere with his own thoughts and plans;
• avoids talking to you;
• doesn’t like to talk about feelings;
• blames you for all the failures in the marriage;
• does not make plans with you for the future;
• he’s lying and he doesn’t care;
• flirts with other women and does not try to hide it from you;
• he doesn’t mind when you try to make him jealous ;
• does not share the facts of his life with you;
• does not treat you as a partner;
• is turning the children against you;
• forgets important family dates and events;
• Doesn’t miss you when you’re away;
• is easily angered at you;
• he doesn’t care how you feel;
• he is indifferent to everything that concerns you;
• treats strangers better than you do;
• he doesn’t give you compliments;
• is not paying attention to what you are saying;
• gives no explanation, for example, when he disappears overnight;
• he does what he wants and he doesn’t care what you think;
• he is not worried about hurting or hurting you.

When a man loses interest in a relationship, you will notice changes in his behaviour. First, you will notice him withdrawing from you, he will become calmer, he will lose interest in intimate sexual contact and he will stop caring about you. These signs indicate that your husband’s feelings have waned or faded.